A Taste of the Village!?

This summer, I got a little taste of what it’s like to live near a lot of family — and it was pretty great.

My daughter (12), my son (1.5), and I flew to upstate New York for 16 days (17, if you count the flight delay/cancellation/fun). My husband joined us for the second half. We stayed at my aunt and uncle’s house for the whole time — which, honestly, is a lot. I still can’t believe they put up with us that long.

But that’s just how their house is — full of people all the time. And I’m completely jealous. Seriously.

Three out of their four kids live nearby, and their kids now have kids… who are now having their own kids. That means my aunt and uncle have great-grandchildren in their house regularly — daily or weekly. It’s just… normal for them.

Over the years of working with pregnant and postpartum people, I’ve seen clients move “home” — maybe during their first pregnancy, maybe after their second. Or sometimes, their parents make the move to be closer to them and their grandchildren. What a dream.

When I think about what it would be like to live in a “village” — the way it used to be, the way it’s meant to be while raising children — I think of my cousin (second cousin once removed… something like that). She drops her little one off with her grandmother most days to go to a workout class. While she’s gone, her grandmother gives the baby a bottle and puts him down for a nap. By the time she gets back, baby’s napped and ready to play.

WHAT. A. DREAM.

Me? I pay big bucks to get a few hours of free time from my guy. And that’s the price I pay for moving away from family — and living in this lovely place I now call home.

The first time I heard someone articulate this deep longing for “a village” was in a Huffington Post article I read back in 2019. (If you haven’t read it, please do.)

So now I’m curious…

Do you have a village made up of family — or have you created one with friends?

How did you do it?

I really want to know.

What the Heck is Mommy Wrist?!

The technical term for what I’m dealing with is De Quervain's Tenosynovitis—but let’s just call it Mommy Wrist for simplicity’s sake. It’s an incredibly painful condition that affects the tendons running along the thumb side of your wrist.

If you're wondering how to check if this is what you’ve got, here’s the super-easy self-test: tuck your thumb into your palm, wrap your fingers around it, and then drop the pinky side of your wrist downward. (I know, real fancy, right?)

I first realized this was what I had back in March, as I was getting ready to return to work after my maternity leave. I had been feeling amazing, finally no longer pregnant, and decided to join a reformer Pilates class. Let me tell you, it felt so good to move my body again. But a few classes in, I started noticing a strange sensation in my wrist—nothing too serious at first, but it lingered a bit.

Looking back, I also remember feeling something after a postpartum massage, which should have been my first clue. After finishing the Pilates series, I switched to weekly yoga, excited to get back into the groove of things. As a mom in my late 40s with a new baby, movement was essential for my well-being. It was like I was finally finding myself again.

But then, the wrist pain crept in—and it wasn’t going away.

I thought if I just cut back on giving massages, maybe my wrists could handle it. But no. Massaging became excruciating. It was constant, a level 11 out of 10 pain. I was finally told to stop working for six weeks to give my body time to heal.

During that time, I tried everything: physical therapy, massage therapy, acupuncture, chiropractic care—and nothing worked. I did my best to stretch and rolling out my neck and upper back, but that didn’t help either. I even wore wrist braces at times, though honestly, they were more of a nuisance than a help, especially when you’re caring for a newborn.

I get the logic behind braces, but the reality of newborn life is different. Between nursing (this boy loves to nurse!) and carrying my baby around all the time, there’s not much room for wrist rest. I’ve learned that my upper body is working overtime—especially when I’m nursing him side-lying. And, of course, there’s the endless picking up, holding, and carrying. There’s just no time to fit in the ideal self-care routine I’d like to have.

After trying all these things I gave in and went to see an orthopedic surgeon who specializes in hands. The result? I got cortisone shots in both wrists.

And miraculously, they worked. The constant pain that had been at an 11 dropped to a 2, and within a week, it was completely gone. Hallelujah! After two months of excruciating pain whenever I held my baby, tried to put on my pants, bra, or carrier, or carried groceries, I was finally pain-free.

It felt so good, I could hardly believe it. But, of course, the joy of being pain-free didn’t last long.

A month after the cortisone shots, I went rock climbing with my family—just to watch them, since I’d missed it. But this day, I thought I’d try a couple of short, easy boulders... and bam, the pain came rushing back.

I ended up getting a second round of cortisone shots, fully aware they might not last. I had to face the fact that I just needed to slow down. I had to take a break from yoga, climbing, and all the things I loved to do. Which was difficult for me, but I did it.

Months passed and the pain lessened andam no longer in pain. I have started lifting weights again, but in a more supportive way. Slowly, I resumed yoga and climbing. And then, before I knew it, my son was 20 months old—and I had learned to embrace a new normal.

Have you had “Mommy Wrist”? How long did it take to get better? I hope you can get to a pain free place soon!

— Heather